If only I could get signed by a modeling agency and land my dream modeling job as the next Covergirl or equally as dope, get booked in the annual Victoria's Secret fashion show, then my confidence will skyrocket.
I hear it all the time - aspiring models wanting to get private coached by me with the impression that becoming a model means they will automatically have a surge in their current low-lying confidence level.
There is this perception that being a model, that booking their dream job and getting paid for something that they love to do will bring them the confidence boost they say they are currently lacking in regards to their self-esteem.
While being happy in your career can certainly lead to feelings of contentment and confidence, being a model alone will not be the catalyst to a sudden change in your overall sense of self.
You may be reading this and thinking that I am off base for saying this.
How can someone that is on a beautiful billboard that spans the entire side of a NYC building, someone who wakes up each day and gets in front of the camera to take hundreds of dreamy photos not have adequate confidence?
Let me break it down for you.
Much like how money cannot buy happiness, being a model cannot make someone completely confident or all of a sudden have high self-esteem.
Sure, money can alleviate financial concerns such as being able to pay your bills.
But how many celebrities have you seen who admit to suffering from depression despite living what seems to be the most amazing life.
How many have you witnessed end up in the hospital, divorced or far more sad, committing suicide?
The same goes with models.
I personally know a model who makes well over $10K per month modeling. Yet this person has the worst self-esteem, is always depressed and has low confidence.
With modeling, maybe you will gain more confidence in knowing that you are better at posing or that you will become more confident being in front of the camera without being shy.
Those are all great goals, effects that can come from modeling.
But being a model does not guarantee that your overall confidence will be improved.
4 ways that confidence happens:
1) True confidence comes from within.
2) True confidence comes from believing in your self worth.
3) True confidence comes in knowing that you are valuable and that you have a gift to share with the world.
4) True confidence & greater self-esteem comes in knowing that you are internally beautiful with or without the approval of a modeling agency wanting to work with you.
As a professional model who has gotten paid at times over $1,000 USD a day for a modeling job, I can personally tell you that while knowing that I was able to pay my bills gave me confidence in that moment, those emotions are fleeting.
In a split moment you can get signed to a modeling agency and feel like you are on top of the world.
Booking jobs and working with your dream clients.
Life feels good.
And just as quickly, that agency can send you to meet with a client who barely glances in your direction yet has 5 different negative critiques about your body in the span of seconds.
And in less that 5 mins your confidence went from sky high to a deflated balloon.
Trust me - it has happened to me.
Instead of focusing on a modeling career or the money as a means of your confidence boost, check out the following suggestions.
6 exercises that will lead to greater confidence - which can help you as a model:
1. Start working on the relationships you have with friends and family to have a greater sense of love and camaraderie among the people in your circle.
2. Choose to go to lunch or dinner by yourself and feel how amazing it can be to step out and accomplish something that you always thought would make you super uncomfortable to do by yourself.
3. Try out a new talent such as learning how to draw a cartoon character via a YouTube video or do a DIY project. I've personally had the greatest boost in my confidence after successfully completing DIY projects I found online and giving them as gifts.
Feel how accomplished and proud you feel that you learned something new. This can lead to confidence in realizing that you can do anything you put your mind to.
4. Walk up to a stranger and introduce yourself or give a compliment if you tend to be someone that is super shy. The more you allow yourself to get outside of your comfort zone the more you will feel an overall sense of confidence in who you are.
5. Consider going to the gym, a yoga class etc. an extra day this week to feel confidence in knowing that you are living a healthier life.
6. The greatest gold tip of them all >> Focus on having a positive daily attitude & surround yourself with those who inspire and encourage you.
The possibilities are endless in how you can begin to change your perception NOW versus expecting a modeling contract or paid jobs to be what makes you feel confident within.
Learn from other's confidence experiences:
I also recently saw a thread that a model friend of mine @deanneroye posted, where she tagged a video entitled "How to Build Self Confidence".
The speaker in the video, the amazingly confident & super talented @CeceOlisa, spoke at the prestigious TEDx Talks.
In her chat, Cece spoke on what it took for her to regain her confidence as a plus sized woman who was constantly being torn down by an entertainment industry that valued physical appearance over talent.
In her short, yet powerful 10(ish) min speech, Cece outlined 4 steps in which you can make adjustments to how you perceive your sense of self and thus improve your confidence. These included:
1. Identify your perceived obstacle
2. Imagine what your life would look like if that obstacle disappeared
3. Address your perceived obstacle
4. Choose to live the life you imagined...today (THIS IS GOLD)
Per what CeCe mentioned in step #4 plus following some the confidence tips I listed prior can build and fuel your sense of confidence, self-worth and self-esteem NOW...WITHOUT the need to be agency signed to feel that way.
To get the full overview on how to implement Cece's 4 strategies into your life, be sure to click to watch that video.
Always remember, the work to confidence and greater self-esteem doesn't begin with material objects and it isn't sustained by becoming a model.
Rather, begin internally and do activities NOW that can boost your sense of self-worth and confidence.
Peace & love,
Kamla-Kay
@KAMLAKAY